Resolutions…Oh Please!!!

I don’t make New Year’s resolutions!  In fact, no self-respecting church plant pastor makes New Year’s resolutions!  Resolutions are for panty-wearing, mama’s boys…not church planters.  If you are a church planter and feel the evil spirits deep inside urging you to make a New Year’s resolution, please do the following:

1. Slam you head really hard against the nearest brick wall.

2. Man up and grow a pair!

3. Listen to some Lynyrd Skynyrd at top volume.

4. Walk naked through your entire house three times…passing gas as loud as you can.

5. Say with an authoritative voice to anyone that will listen, "I am a church planter and, by God, I don’t live life with regrets!"

6. If anyone challenges you about this, hit them with an extremely mean stare until they are reduced to a crying pile of goo and then yell, "Get your sniveling, resolution-making ass up out of my face!"  (Unless, of course, the person challenging you is your wife. All great - and smart - church planters become panty-wearing, mama’s boys when their wives get ticked!!!)

PLEASE NOTE - Perry Noble made a semi-resolution list.  He is excused this year as he’s about to become a father and his "man-a-tude" is slightly off right now.  Congrats to the Noble family!!!

Predictions: The 2007 Uncool List

Here are my predictions for what will become "uncool" in the area of church planting and church leadership in 2007.  These are in no particular order.

MySpace - The writing is already on the wall.  With everyone from Fortune 500 companies to grandparents having a MySpace, the online "community" is going to go down as a form of marketing for churches.  Only indie bands and sixth graders will keep using the thing.

Denominations - Jesus’ first miracle of turning water into wine at a wedding ceremony has taken on a new meaning thanks to denominational decisions in 2006.  According to the Southern Baptists it was irresponsible, as it could lead people to take a drink of alcohol (the root of all evil).  According to the Episcopals the wedding was that of a same-sex couple.  Denominations have become so bloated with self-importance and extreme left wing/right wing doctrinal statements that church planters will walk away from them in droves!

Mark Driscoll - I like Mark and love his books.  However, his "let’s make babies so we can rock the vote" mentality…along with his big mouth will cause him to slide in the cool scale.

Cookie-Cutter Marketing - "Bye-bye" Outreach Marketing, Inc. and "hello" art majors within the congregation.

Self-Help/How-To Books & Conferences - The world of church planting and lead pastors no longer needs more clones and copycats.

Pimping - Shameless self-promotion of one’s book, video, church, blog, podcast, Home Shopping Network gadget or conference is getting completely uncool.  Some pimping is okay, but the key word here is shameless.

Expensive Church Technology - Church planters are waking up to the fact that no one really wants to explain to God why a $3 million video wall was purchased for the sanctuary when there are single mothers in the community trying to pay bills while living in their cars.

CEO Pastors - It’s called a church not a business.  The New Testament calls it "shepherding" not managing. Church planters are beginning to embrace that idea.

Brian McLaren - Being controversial for the sake of being controversial just gets old after a while.  Maybe Brian’s friends at Open Door Church will continue to buy into the crap, but the rest of the world will get past it in 2007.  His 15 minutes are up.

Chris Elrod - See the "big mouth" section in the Mark Driscoll listing above.

Video Venue Multi-Site Churches - When a Texas church plants a video venue location in south Florida the multi-site movement has entered the "absurd" category.  Only "Boomers" and "Purpose-Driven" disciples still buy into the idea that people want to watch sermons on movie screens.  ***This "uncool item" is in no way intended to disrespect those multi-site churches that still use live people to deliver the message.

Extravagant Sunday Mornings - All week strategy meetings by church staff in order to figure out how to stage a Broadway-rivaling show on Sunday will be a thing of the past.  With 20-somethings putting more importance on community, the  popularity of "the worship of worship", KISS concert-styled Sunday services will begin to slide in 2007.

Mega-Churches - Large churches will always be around.  In fact we need them - and I am not saying they are wrong.  I just see a greater importance by church planters being put on shepherding the individual flock and planting new, stand-alone churches.  Because of this there will be more 500-800 member churches and more church plants being launched out of recently planted churches.

Foreign Missions - Africa needs more food, more AIDS vaccines and more money.  It doesn’t need more missionaries.  Relief ministry to foreign countries will become cool in 2007 - not street crusades.

Modern Praise Music - Less Chris Tomlin…more Fanny Crosby.

Dave Crowder’s Beard - Great music, but his facial hair is really annoying…and uncool.  It’s like a post-modern attempt at being ZZ Top.  In 2007 someone will finally snap, hold David down and cut that crap off his chin!!

Uncool Lists - Uncool lists really won’t be that cool in 2007.  Especially when they are written by a bonehead church planter in Lakeland. Florida.

Bye-Bye, Bad Guy!

Ding dong, the witch is dead…

Worked with
a Kurdish refugee family
three years ago.
They fled Iraq
after their relatives
were gassed by So-Damn.
No mourning in Lakeland!
No mourning from Kurds!
How many more
wait in line
to take his place…

Sorry normal blog readers.
I was feeling creative…
expressive…
and different…

Warren Zevon And A New PDA

So I’m in kind of the after-Christmas, nothing-much-is-happening, lazy kind of mood today.  I’ve done a little house cleaning, organized some of the crap on my desk and ate lunch (a little personal recipe I like to call "hot dog in a bowl").  Now I’m just sitting back waiting for the Independence Bowl to start and chilling out to Warren Zevon’s "The Wind" compact disc.

Recorded after he was diagnosed with inoperable lung cancer, Warren was in the last stages of his life.  It is one of the most honest (there’s that theme again) and timeless music projects I’ve ever encountered.  "Keep Me In Your Heart" is one of the songs we play at Compass Point after the service and it always brings a tear to my eye.  Zevon and "The Wind" is always inspiring in that it was written and recorded with so little time and so much still left to say.  If only I had that kind of urgency when I speak and communicate?!?!

I also did something yesterday I never thought I’d do…I ditched my Palm Tungsten E.  Several times over the last year it has crashed while I was one the road or away from my home.  It really sucks because - being ADD - I live by that thing.  When it crashes, I crash!!!

Anyway, I have committed to stop using so much digital stuff because of the unreliability.  So I’m giving the whole HipsterPDA thing a try.  You know, where everything is kept on 3×5 index cards.  The jury is still out, but so far so good.  It does lend itself to doing the Getting Things Done process better, so we’ll see.

Honesty

Honesty is of great importance to me.  It is one of the things I look for in friends, staff and leadership.  It is one of the things I strive to be in my personal and public life.  I’ve never been drawn to "yes men" and find that I prefer the "iron sharpens iron" qualities of a brutally honest person.

I have served on church staffs and under the leadership of pastors that only wanted to hear the positives.  I found all of these churches to be without vision, clear leadership and growth.  While I recognize the need for positive reinforcement (and doll it out on a daily basis to those that work with me), I also know that personal, spiritual and vocational growth can only come with people being brutally honest about your shortcomings.

I learned this lesson in a most peculiar way back in the early 90s when I was just starting out as a Christian comedian.  I’d only been doing the comedy thing for a little over a year with some success.  I had started traveling around the country on weekends, been picked up by a major Christian booking agency, had done some television shows and was getting noticed by some record companies.  I knew the next step was to seek out a manager that was well-connected in Nashville and the CCM scene.  Through a friend I was introduced to Ray Ware, who at that time was (and still is) the manager for Bryan Duncan, Randy Stonehill and Bob Carlisle. He took a call from me and requested a video sample of my work.  Up until that time everyone around me was talking about how great I was doing - really pumping sunshine up my skirt.  I was getting quite a big head and was thinking I was the "next big thing".

A few days later I called Mr. Ware back expecting to hear how honored he was to be chosen to manage such a dynamic artist that was going to redefine how the world looked at Christian comedy.  Instead his first words were, "Chris, I gotta tell ya, I wasn’t impressed at all - the comedy material was pretty lame - I think you need to chose another career."  I was crushed!!!  In my shock, disbelief and anger I never heard another word of that conversation.  The gist of it was that he didn’t feel like there was anything to manage and that the folks pumping me up - might be nice - but didn’t have my best interest at heart.

For days Mr. Ware’s words were all I thought about.  I had a few gigs and - needless to say - they sucked because I couldn’t shake off what he said.  The anger and shock began to die off and I truly began to look over everything I was doing.  I knew that Nashville could be brutal and that I was competing for a record contract against much more seasoned Christian comedians.  I knew that the "corn ball" humor that worked in Zwolle, Louisiana wouldn’t go over with the record guys in Nashville.  After some personal contemplation and many sleepless nights, I called Ray Ware back.

He was kind enough to once again take my call.  This time I asked specific questions and listened to his brutally honest answers.  He should have charged me 10% of everything I made as a comedian for his advice, because it was incredible.  I applied everything he said to my comedy act and business structure…and it worked.  Suddenly I doubled in gigs, was appearing on national radio shows, got more television exposure and was getting calls all the time from record companies - both big and small.

In the end Mr. Ware never managed me and I only ended up staying in the CCM industry another few years.  In those years I had to hear some pretty brutal comments and advice by great folks (Chonda Pierce, Steve Geyer, Scott Hall, Wes Campbell and Leslie Kent) that changed my life for the positive.  It was those lessons that showed me that brutal, honest truth is always a growing experience!

Over the last several weeks I have received both extremely negative and extremely positive emails about my honesty on this blog.  I was challenged a few months ago by a church planter to be as brutally honest on my blog as I am when I speak at conferences or mentor someone. I have taken that advice to heart and have begun to be more honest and authentic in my postings.

Compass Point is not one of the top 25 most innovative churches in America (according to the folks at Outreach), however we are reaching young 20-somethings.  We are on the cutting-edge of future Christian leadership and - with that - brings an understanding of what the future of the church might look like.  From what we (the Compass Point leadership and I) are observing that the coming paradigms will be a threat to the current definition of success and paradigms in church planting.  I truly believe that the mega-church, high-tech church and Purpose-Driven church models are quickly becoming dinosaurs with the coming culture.  I believe that only brutal truth and honesty will help to prepare the way for the next church planters.  So this is why I write.

If you chose to continue to read this blog, please keep two things in mind:

1. I will be brutally honest from now on.  Being inflammatory is not something that keeps me up at night.

2. While I am not always right, I am never unsure! 

President Ford

It’s around 3:00 AM and I just caught the news on CNN that President Ford passed away. 

When I was in fourth grade my grandfather checked me out of school to go to Barksdale Air Force Base for President Ford’s arrival in Shreveport-Bossier City on a campaign stop.  I can still remember how cool it looked when Air Force One pulled up.  We were told he’d do a quick wave then be wisked away in a limo to fundraiser downtown.  Instead he stepped off the plane and proceeded to work the rope line for a good forty-five minutes.  Because of my grandfather’s security clearance I was right on the rope and got to shake President Ford’s hand.  When you’re nine-years-old there is no greater feeling in the world than to shake the hand of a sitting President.

Since that time I have met several current and former U.S. Presidents, but nothing can compare to that first time with President Ford.  I don’t know about the rest world, but he will be missed in the Elrod household!

All In This Together?

Recently Greg Rohlinger, pastor of Palm Valley Church in Arizona put up a great posting on his blog concerning the stuff that Gary Lamb and Ridgestone is going through over the "rappin’ Santa" video.  I had a chance to meet Greg several months back up in the Atlanta area and, while our visit wasn’t exactly exclusive or long, I found him to be a Godly man and incredible church planter.

With all that said, I respectfully disagree with one point (point #3) that he made in the above-mentioned post.  While I agree that churches should not be in competition with each other, the sad fact is that many are.  I also disagree to some extent with the first sentence, "We’re all in this together."  I’m not so sure that all of us are.  Allow me to explain.

I’m a church planter.  Greg is a church planter.  Gary is a church planter.  Not attempting to speak for Greg or Gary, but a church planter’s job…his calling…is to reach unchurched people.  Obviously discipling and growing folks in spiritual maturity is also key ingredients in that process.  However, I’ve never met a successful church planter that wasn’t jazzed first and foremost by reaching unchurched people.  It’s all we think about.

With that said, I’m troubled by some of the "reasons" I’m hearing for planting churches.  Over the last year I’ve spoken at a few statewide church plant conferences, I’ve mentored a few church planters and come in contact with dozens upon dozens of church planters.  I’m amazed at the lack of concern for the unchurched by some.

In the last twelve months I have met church planters/lead pastors who started a church because…

…they were tired of being the #2 man and wanted to call the shots.
…got fired from another church and didn’t want to answer to anyone else again.
…didn’t like dealing with committees or deacons or both.
…had a revolutionary way of structuring leadership and wanted to show the world it worked.
…their wife thought it was good idea.
…they felt a need to push a particular denomination in the community.
…they were told they would not make good leadership and wanted to prove people wrong.
…they wre too arrogant and bull-headed to get along on a church staff.
…they felt "called" to further the reformation theology/Calvinist doctrine.
…the parent church was declining and that pastor needed somewhere to fall back to for a job/salary.
…they didn’t want a church to tell them they couldn’t drink or smoke as a pastor.
…it looks good a resume when a big church with more salary wants to hire you.
…they didn’t like to sing hymns.
…they didn’t like to sing praise songs.
…the other church fired me and I want to cause it to split.
…they wanted a place where home school families could feel comfortable.
…no other church would hire them.
…they didn’t want to go through the restoration process for a sin they were caught in.
…church planting was a "tied-me-over" until God revealed what it was He really wanted them to do.
…they had a Master of Divinity and didn’t want to waste it.

With all disrespect fully intended, those are stupid…and wrong…reasons to start a church.  If reaching unchurched people is not the goal, do the Kingdom of God a favor…go flip burgers or pump gas…you are not called to be a church planter!!!

My hope is that we will all truly be in this together.  However, I’m seeing a greater trend toward feeding personal needs or emotional baggage in church planters than actually trying to reach people with the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

Question Of Your Honesty

All this machinery making modern music
Can still be open hearted
Not so coldly charted
It’s really just a question of your honesty, yeah
Your honesty
One likes to believe in the freedom of music
But glittering prizes and endless compromises
Shatter the illusion of integrity

Some of the greatest lyrics ever penned.  It’s also a close representation of my basic mindset concerning most things.  God, family, honesty, risk and time are my greatest commodities.  All else is mindless dribble in the daily ramblings of life.

More on honesty later today.

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas everyone.  I hope you and your loved are enjoying this holiday season as much as Denise and I are.

I’m Having A Sirius Christmas

Santa came a little early around the Elrod house.  Today I got a Sirius Starmate 4 satellite radio system.  This thing rocks!!!  Not only does it get crystal clear sound from coast to coast (without dropping the same station), but you can also program in your favorite music artists so they pop up whenever they are played on one of Sirius’ 200+ stations.

It took about five minutes to get the thing plugged and the Sirius folks to activate my account.  Literally, within ten minutes of purchasing the system, I was enjoying great music with no commercial interruptions.  The first song I heard was GNR’s "You Could Be Mine".  Upon hearing that, I knew it was divine intervention that I got it. 

Anyway, I was so pumped that I’m just now going to bed (3:30 AM) after listening to a football game, a bunch of music and The Who in concert on it.  You gotta dig that fat guy in the red suit.  He…or she…knew exactly what I wanted!!!