I don’t make New Year’s resolutions!  In fact, no self-respecting church plant pastor makes New Year’s resolutions!  Resolutions are for panty-wearing, mama’s boys…not church planters.  If you are a church planter and feel the evil spirits deep inside urging you to make a New Year’s resolution, please do the following:

1. Slam you head really hard against the nearest brick wall.

2. Man up and grow a pair!

3. Listen to some Lynyrd Skynyrd at top volume.

4. Walk naked through your entire house three times…passing gas as loud as you can.

5. Say with an authoritative voice to anyone that will listen, "I am a church planter and, by God, I don’t live life with regrets!"

6. If anyone challenges you about this, hit them with an extremely mean stare until they are reduced to a crying pile of goo and then yell, "Get your sniveling, resolution-making ass up out of my face!"  (Unless, of course, the person challenging you is your wife. All great - and smart - church planters become panty-wearing, mama’s boys when their wives get ticked!!!)

PLEASE NOTE - Perry Noble made a semi-resolution list.  He is excused this year as he’s about to become a father and his "man-a-tude" is slightly off right now.  Congrats to the Noble family!!!