Ecto Test Message

There is a new Mac program called Ecto that I’m trying out. It supposedly lets you type up blog posts offline and then puts them up once you are online. Since I am flying to Colorado tomorrow this could really be helpful.

Oaky…here goes…let’s see if this works….

UPDATE - It worked like a charm. What a great software program!!!

The Reason For Yesterday’s Post

I’m known to take shots on occasion through my blog. I’m also known to make feeble attempts at being humorous with my posts on occasion. With all my posts (except the ones concerning football) my blog postings are always thought out in advance to make a point…create conversation…and cause people to think. Some days I’m better at it than others. Yesterday’s post about the praise bands was pretty brutal…heavy handed…and was intended to be.

The whole thing started when I made a comment about how much I liked Elevation Church’s worship album. A simple comment…nothing really in-depth or overly “high pressure sales” bit. Within hours I had over 30 emails from worship leaders or band members asking me to “check out their worship album for sale”. Some sent me to YouTube, others to iTunes and others to their church’s website. Chris Carey…who plays drums in a great band down the street from us at Journey Church brought up two really good points in his post today…”first, I don’t know why anyone’s sending him samples of their music. Second, those that did obviously respect his opinion and now have been bashed into hiding and I imagine quite a few are reconsidering their loyalty to Christianity.” I agree wholeheartedly…thus my tongue-in-check statement about knowing a lot about good music. Well Chris…and the rest of the blog reading world…the reason they sent me samples and weblinks is…wait for it…so I would pump their album on my blog and help generate more sales. Many of the emails specifically asked me to help them out with sales by mentioning their album on my blog. I gotta tell you…that kind of crap just repulses me.

Seldom is a week that goes by that I don’t get a book in the mail by some yahoo I don’t even know asking me to read it, blog about it and help him sell more copies…some even offer me a percentage of the sales. If they were to actually read my blog they would know I’m ADD and rarely read an entire book. Secondly they’d know I hate shameless promotion and product plugs on blogs. Anything I plug at ChrisElrod.com is stuff I bought legitimately…loved…and feel that it can be a benefit to others.

I will go on record as saying that there are some good praise bands out there that I discovered through this little journey. However, the vast majority really were not good enough to have a project for sale. I was shocked at how many seem to have no originality (played the songs note-for-note), are stuck in th 80’s (thus the electronic drums comment - only Neil Peart can pull it off these days without looking chessy) or have really female sounding male lead singers (which is a HUGE pet peeve of mine). It’s one thing to put out an album for your church to buy and enjoy….it’s another to actually hock it to the world for purchase. You gotta remember I spent a lot of years in the professional Christian music industry. If your recorded project, musical skills, songwriting and marketing graphics can’t compete with Hillsongs United, Chris Tomlin or David Crowder Band…then you need to stay local…a big fish in a little pond. The people that emailed me weren’t just guys loving God and doing the best they can playing for an audience of One…they were trying to make money because they thought they had the stuff to compete on a international sales level…and they didn’t. If they were offended by my comments…wait until they actually sit down with a top CCM manager or CCM record company A&R rep…my comments will look tame (I know I’ve been there). If you don’t have tough skin…and can’t take brutal critique…don’t get into the professional Christian music industry!!!

In essence I was approached in these emails to be some kind of blogging pimp…marketing their wares so they could make more cash. I don’t like being played or used. In the future…send me products at your own peril. If it’s good I’ll blog about it…if it sucks…I’ll also blog about. If you don’t want honesty…don’t send it. There are other blogging pastors out there that have the gift of encouragement…I’m not one of them. There are other blogging pastors that love to get free stuff and will promote any crap sent to them…that ain’t me.

My desire was not for anyone to reconsider their loyalty to Christianity…my hope was that they would reconsider their desire to be a top-selling Christian music “star”. I was also wanting them to reconsider bugging me for free marketing!!!

A Huge Musical Mistake

Because of my post about Elevation band’s new album I’ve been getting emails telling me about other “great” worship bands with recordings on the internet. Most of the emails are from well-meaning church members pumping their band…others are from band members themselves. As a result I’ve been checking out mp3s and videos from a bunch of church praise bands…many from some of the top churches in America. I gotta tell you…there are some really female-sounding MALE worship leaders and crappy praise bands out there!!!

Music moves me…however most of what I’ve heard over the last few days has only caused my bowels to move. A vast majority of it has been fairly lame cover bands…doing lethargic note-for-note versions of Hillsongs United and Chris Tomlin…almost like they are a NyQuil-induced karaoke act with guitars in their hands.

The worst was a large “innovative” church that did an entire message series around U2 songs. First off…U2 was cutting edge…20 years ago…they are only cool these days to 30-something artsy-fartsy wannabes. Secondly, the worship leader looked like Christopher Cross (yeah…the 70’s wimpy guy) and sounded like George Michael!!! Don’t get me wrong…the musicians in the band smoked…but as soon as the worship leader started singing the words to “Vertigo”…you just wanted to holler out “Hit me with it one more time RuPaul.”

Far be it from me to assume I know anything about church planting or church leadership…but I do know a lot about good music. With that in mind I offer the following helpful hints for church pastors when it comes to their church’s praise bands and worship leaders.

1. If your band sounds like Culture Club with distorted guitars…it’s a HUGE musical mistake to put their music up online. They suck…and anyone listening to it will think you and your church also sucks.

2. If your male worship leader sounds like Helen Reddy…can his butt IMMEDIATELY!!!

3. If the band members think that Coldplay and Matchbox Twenty are innovative…slap them real hard in the face with the latest compact disc from any band that headlined this year’s WARPED Tour!!!!

4. If it walks like a duck, talks like a duck and flies like a duck…most likely it’s a duck. If your worship leader walks fruity, talks fruity and acts fruity…guess what…

5. If your target market is rednecks…feel free to have your guitar player finger tap like Eddie Van Halen during a solo. If not…tie him to an ant mound…cover him with honey…and nicely ask him to stop.

6. Christian T-shirts suck…they have always sucked…they will always suck!!! It is better for your band to go topless than wear them!!!

7. Lynyrd Skynyrd is a great band. Putting cheesy Christian lyrics to their songs will have you riding the short bus to your next innovative churches conference.

8. If the guy trying out for worship leader sounds like Frankie Goes To Hollywood…relax…don’t do it…hire somebody else.

9. Eletronic drums went out with The Cars and Devo. These days they are only good for sitting potted plants on in your church’s foyer.

10. Teenage middle schoolers can pull off the whole “High School Musical” look…not middle-aged worship band members. Also…horizontally-challenged people (like myself) should never…I repeat….NEVER…wear mid-riff exposing shirts on stage!!!

Final note - Please stop emailing me suggestions for other church bands to go look at or listen to on the web. I’ve had all of the Michael-Bolton-on-helium worship leaders fronting ABBA-sounding bands for a while. I’ve got to crank some serious ZZ Top and old-school Van Halen through my head just to recover!!!

Elevation’s Band Rocks

I’ll be honest…not many church worship bands impress me much. Most claim to rock…but usually sound like Boy George on a bad day. However, I’m really digging Elevation’s band. Their new live album is called The Sound and the song “All For You” is kicking my butt in a big way…totally rocks!!! Check it out on iTunes.

My Only Comments About It

Gary - I bow to your supreme prophectic skills…you are much wiser and all-knowing than I.  Thank you sir…may I have another…

Georgia Dawgs - You guys flat came to play - congrats!!!

Florida Gators - I’m sorry your coaches can only see the inside of their colons when it comes to play calling and game management.

Compass Point - Due to tonight’s developments…tomorrow’s sermon delivery could get pretty agressive.  You might not want to sit on the front couple of rows.  So help me God…if any of you ask me about the game…your personal giving records will be posted on the video screen during the service!!! 

Denise is currently hiding the sharp objects in our house.  My will to live is gone…

Are You Kidding Me

Are you kidding me?  Fourth and two…well within field goal range…and Florida goes for it with a SWEEP!!!  The sweep has not been working all day….now we are down by eleven.  If we lose this game…which it looks like we will…Meyers has no one to thank but himself.  Another poor offensive coaching game for the Gators!!!

Gary Lamb Is Full Of Crap!!!

My friend Gary Lamb is in la-la land if he really thinks his Poodles (a.k.a., Bulldogs) are going to beat my Gators. I love him to death…always listen to his church leadership advice…would join Revolution in a heartbeat were it not for Compass Point…but he is full of crap when it comes to college football.

Hey Gary…I’m calling you out for your football heresy!!! Hide the sharp objects around the Lamb household because Saturday is going to be a dperessing day for you my friend!!! : -)

Got Interviewed

The guys over at God’s Upside Kingdom kind of slammed me yesterday…but in an effort to be fair and balanced…interviewed me for their blog. You can check it out here. I totally dug the title…”The Crazy World Of Chris Elrod”!!!

Rocked It With Russ

I forgot to mention that I finally met Russ Butcher yesterday. I’ve had his blog in my Google Reader for a while now…so it was a real pleasure finally shaking his hand in person. He pastors up in Loganville, Georgia at Church At The Grove…and they are blowing the doors out for Jesus in that area. We only had a few minutes together after the practicum…but I look forward to picking his brain a little more in the future!

Hump Day Thoughts

Kyle and I made it home from Atlanta last night around 9:00PM. I’ve already hit the hospital visits this morning….now I’m getting some paper work done at my South Lakeland office (Panera Bread) and digging The Nuge (above the canyon walls…strong eyes did glow…it was the leader of the land…the great white buffalo).

I can’t say enough about the staff and volunteers of Mountain Lake Church. The practicum was one of the best things I’ve been a part of….really cleared up so many questions we’ve had at Compass Point. God used Shawn Lovejoy and his staff to really speak to us…so many definitive decisions made this weekend it’ll take several months to implement. If you are a church planter, I can’t stress enough to get you and your staff to the Evolve Conference in February!!!

I’m currently working on a blog post that I hope to have up next week. I’ve actually been working on it for several weeks now…it basically separates us from Emergent. I’m coming to realize that silence is support…and that heresy is hill to die on. It is difficult…as I have many friends who are Emegent…but I’m no friend of Emergent. The complete lack of Scriptural integrity of the spokespeople for Emergent has begun to affect Compass Point…I can no longer sit on the sidelines of this debate.

That’s about all from a rainy day in Lakeland. Gotta go…Tesla just came up on my iTunes shuffle program (it’s a show down in a no man’s land for the cowboy of the modern day). Rock on in a radical way…