Potential Pantyless

A while back I was out in Modesto. California where I heard about this youth group praise band that was pretty hot…they were called Worth Dying For.  Someone gave me a live copy of a service they play at each week…it was pretty good…but still a little raw.  Lo and behold, Tony Morgan starts talking about them on his blog this week…they have signed to a label and have an album coming out.  Checked out their website…caught some song samples…and this band has really gotten some serious game.  Though there is a chic in the band…this has the potential to be a “pantyless praise” recommendation.  The album doesn’t come out until April 15th…so they have limited samples on their site and iTunes…but if it continues in the vein of “Crazy” and “Revolution” I may have a new band to push on this blog.  I’ll make a final review when the album hits the shelves…unless the band or record company wants to go ahead and send me a pre-release (hint, hint, hint). 

Who Worship Leaders Look Like

Thanks to the help of Matthew Paul Turner, I have finally pinpointed who almost every young worship leader in America looks like…RYAN freakin’ SEACREST.  Don’t believe…take a look!!! 

Lee McDerment: A Cure For Panty Praise

Recently I had someone tell me I was the Simon Crowell of praise music…always being pretty hard on the fact that the majority of it is pretty wimpy and lame. It’s true…most of today’s praise music is a HUGE turn off for me….mainly because the guys writing it and singing it sound like…and dress like…they bought their underwear from Victoria’s Secret. That’s why I call much of it “panty praise”. I’m a male…singing to God…who is a male…and I feel like a big girl when I have to sing words like…

Beautiful One, I love
Beautiful One, I adore
Beautiful One, my heart must sing

To top it off the musicianship is just…well panty wearing also. No crunch to the guitars…bass guitar and kick drums too far down in the mix…the production too slick and polished. It’s like Culture Club with crappy Christian lyrics. Pitiful!!!

However, last week I discovered a cure for panty praise…”A Match Light In The Dark” by Lee McDerment. It’s dude rock for…well dudes. Great praise music with manly lyrics and some “melt-your-face-off” music. I’m serious…this is the real deal. No panties…no Victoria’s Secret…just straight ahead rock n’ roll praise with lyrics any man can grunt to. Don’t believe me? Then go here and check out the second song “We Stand”. For those that have been suckling on Hughes and Tomlin for too long…that sound you hear on the song…it’s called distorted guitar. Take it in and allow it to release your inner-John The Baptist!!! Every time I hear “Top Of Our Lungs” I just wanna holler, “You brood of vipers” at some unsuspecting person. Even a song like “Our God Is Love” will have Nickleback fans cowering in fear from the power of the guitars. The solo in “Uncontainable” is worth the price of the compact disc alone!!!

My advice…peel off those silky drawers…run commando through your office…and make a web-enhanced beeline for CD Baby to order this album. I promise this is not your wife’s praise music…file it under “wup your butt worship”…my laptop caught fire three times upon the first listen. Lee and his album definitely get the “Elrod Stamp Of Approval” that comes with my exclusive “no panty guarantee”!!!

UPDATE: You can now purchase Lee’s music through iTunes.  That means no waiting on the postal service…pure pantyless praise with just the click of a mouse!!!

Justin Timberlake Fans Need Not Apply

So the smack talk has become fairly serious in the blogosphere concerning the upcoming “Evolve Conference” and the “Guitar Hero Contest“.  I really don’t sweat any of the guys…they are all pretty much going to have their faces melted off by “Slash” Elrod.  However, I think it is funny that such a girlie-man as Gary Lamb is talking trash.  With a blog post like this you can’t really expect people to take your taunting all that serious concerning your “Guitar Hero” skills.  Word has it that Gary has been brushing up on his ‘N Sync guitar licks!!!  

Good Calvinists Have At Least One Vice

Since I mentioned several classic rock artists in last night’s post…I have been hammered by a few folks about the evils of me listening to rock music.  As a Reformed Theology guy I feel it is my duty…my responsibility…to have at least one vice.  All of the best-known Calvinists have…or had…at least one “chink in the armor”…thus I feel that I’m at least carrying on the tradition.  Spurgeon puffed cigars like crazy, Driscoll likes to cuss and Calvin himself liked to burn people (well…at least one dude).  In the light of all of that…is an addiction to classic rock really all that bad? 

Does Anyone Still Rock Anymore?

First it was KISS, Bon Jovi, Pantera and Robert Plant…now it’s Def Leppard and Sammy Hagar.  Has the whole rock music world gone country?  If Cheap Trick ever records a duet with The Statler Brothers…I’m going to punch some record exec in the throat!!! 

The Passing Of A Pioneer

My time in the Christian Music industry afforded me the luxury of meeting many of the pioneer musicians and songwriters of the genre.  One meeting that always sticks out in my mind was Roby Duke.  I was only around him for a few hours one afternoon…but his humility, upbeat attitude and phenomenal musicianship  left a lasting impression on me.  His laugh was infectious…but it was his ability to make people feel at ease around him that really moved me.  I had listened to his music over the years…a mixture of blue-eyed soul, folk and jazz…and was a little intimidated to be around him.  I’m not sure if it was his gentle demeanor or his quick sense of humor…but he made me feel as a peer and not a fan.  The truth is…I made a fool of myself as I stood there awestruck…stammering and stuttering trying to sound like I was a “player” in the CCM venue…in a feeble attempt to impress him.  We both knew I was not…but Roby graciously played along.

On Wednesday Roby went to be with the Lord as the result of a heart attack.  His voice has gone silent…his guitar forever in its case…but his music…and his legacy…will live on.

The Hammer Of The Gods

After much speculation…one postponement…and millions of people attempting to get tickets…it finally happened tonight…wish I had been there. Let’s just hope Page and the boys liked it enough to take it around the world! The set list was as follows:

1. Good Times, Bad Times
   
2. Ramble On
   
3. Black Dog
   
4. In My Time Of Dying
   
5. For Your Life
   
6. Trampled Under Foot
   
7. Nobody’s Fault But Mine
   
8. No Quarter
   
9. Since I’ve Been Loving You
   
10. Dazed and Confused
    
11. Stairway To Heaven
    
12. The Song Remains the Same
    
13. Misty Mountain Hop
    
14. Kashmir
    
15. Whole Lotta Love
    
16. Rock and Roll

Candyman

So the other day I forgot my Sirius Radio receiver at the house and was "forced" to listen to a regular radio station for the first time since Christmas.  While driving around I heard this really catchy tune with a 1940s feel (obviously being sung by Christina Aguilera) called "Candyman".  I was just trying to get through traffic so I wasn’t paying too much attention to the lyrics…just really getting into the beat.  I really enjoyed the music and groove of the song so tonight I downloaded it from iTunes.  I finally took the time to listen to the lyrics…holy crap…that is one filthy song!!!  Christina has some pipes…but is really…just…nasty!!!  What happened to the days when sex was just hinted at with clever language use in rock or pop songs.  This stuff was so "in your face" (no pun intended) that even I was shocked.  I must be becoming an "old fart"!  The next thing you know I’ll be hollering at some kid to "turn that crap down"…just like my Dad did when KISS Alive II would be blasting from my stereo.

Kickin’ It Old School

Just chillin’ tonight, reveling in the fact I get to drive a classic car around and digging on the privilege I get by being a church planter.  God just rocked my world in a good way today!!!

I decided to dig waaaayyyy back in my compact disc collection and pulled out some old school Christian rock…Servant’s "Rockin’ Revival".  It’s totally early 80’s Christian rock cheese…but at the time it was like gold.  I still get this weird…"going back to Bethel" feeling when I hear stuff like Servant, Rick Cua, Resurrection Band, Leslie Phillips, Steve Taylor and old pre-Schlitt Petra.  In all honesty…if it wasn’t for those CCM artists…and a praying mama…I wouldn’t be doing what I’m doing today.  I’d probably be strung out in a gutter somewhere.