It’s 4:00 a.m. and it’s been a long night…a rough night…the final moments for Denise and I in the journey of this pregnancy. I’m in my easy chair…Denise is on the couch beside me…she’s finally able to sleep a little. It’s done…it over…but only this specific chapter in life. The next chapter is about to be written…and God already knows how the story line will go.
People keep telling Denise and I that they are sorry for “our loss”…they just don’t understand…this was one of the most glorious things that has ever happened to us…to me. I got to be a father for 14 days!
Some fathers have pictures of their kids playing in the wading pool…going off to their first day of kindergarten…playing sports…being in a dance recital…prom…graduation…wedding photos. The picture of my child is a grainy black and white ultrasound print-out. It may not be much…but it is all that I have…to cling to…to remember…and the photo is priceless. It shows that there is a God…that He is the Giver of all blessings…that He did not forget Denise and I…and that He thinks that we are worthy to be called parents. The doctors said it couldn’t happen…that we were too old to conceive…that we would never experience a pregnancy. The ultrasound print-out is not a photo of a fetus…but of a miracle…my child.
Perry Noble said that fatherhood would forever change me…make my ministry different…my preaching different…my love for people different. He can’t imagine how right he was! I thought fatherhood was something I would never experience…never feel what it was like. For me it only lasted 14 days…and wasn’t quite what other people would consider to be fatherhood. However, in that time frame I fell deeply in love my Heavenly Father…madly in love with my wife…and experienced a love for a child that I could not physically see, hold or touch. I didn’t realize that kind of love was even possible in such a short time.
Those 14 days helped me experience just a tiny portion of the love that God must have for us…His children. It also provided me with a small glimpse into the pain He must feel when He loses one of us. My 14 days of fatherhood gave me even more drive to reach people that are far from God…and better disciple the ones that already know Him.
I have not lost hope…I have not experienced depression…I have not lost faith in God…I have not given up..the Devil doesn’t win this round. If anything this whole journey has only served to draw me closer to the Father…and cause me to lean even more on Him in all things.
God may never bless us with another child…but He gave us one for 14 days. For some people that is nothing…for Denise and I…it was an eternity. For two people that were told we would never be parents…it was the most joyful experience in our lives. If 14 days is all I will ever experience of being a father…then that is perfectly fine by me…there are so many others that don’t get to experience it all. I would not trade in one moment of this journey for a different outcome. It has changed me…given me new hope…brought Denise and I closer together…and gave us a few days of something we never thought we would have. Mainly, it has given me a stronger faith and trust in God…and made me appreciate all the blessings He gives…both great and small. To God be the glory!!!
It’s been about two weeks since I properly posted…just needed some time for Denise and I…even took a couple of Sundays off. However, it is now time to get back into the thick of things…time to reflect…time to move on. Before I begin this “catch up” post…I just wanted to say a heart felt thank you to everyone for the emails, hugs, comments and messages concerning the baby. You will never know just how encouraging and uplifting your words were during a very dark time in our life. I will post a little more later about the baby…and our future plans. Now let’s get caught up…be warned…the post is long (hey…I’ve been dark for a while).
WiBo was an amazing…and LONG day. Kyle and I got up around 3:00 am…flew up that morning…flew back right after the conference…got home around 11:00 pm…we were only in Reston for about 12 hours!!! Let me say this…Ben Arment and his team did a wonderful job!!! The sessions were great…the diversity in speakers was amazing…the flow of the day was awesome…the networking was some of the best ever…but God really used a bunch of pastors to speak to a bunch of pastors. I didn’t get to sleep until 3:00am when I got back (yes…I was up a full 24-hours…no sleep on the plane) trying to process everything.
I finally got to meet Jonthan Herron in person…I just love the heart of that guy!
I can’t begin to describe how valuable and treasured that Kyle Bridges (our Executive Pastor) is becoming in my life…and life of Compass Point. BIG changes coming in leadership structure…and my accessibility…over the next few months.
I didn’t really miss blogging…kind of enjoyed not having the hassle…seriously consider killing the blog. In the end will make some changes in what I blog and what I Twitter.
The blogger’s lunch at WiBo was a blast…so cool to finally get to put faces with people…and make some new friends. Props to everyone that helped sponsor it…you guys ROCK!!!
Getting pretty anal about time management and organization!!! Will be changing my cell phone number again soon…very few people will get it this time….will seriously maim those that give out the number without my permission!!
Vince Antonucci (whoa two mentions in the same blog post) really got me pumped with his talk at WiBo. I had read it before on his blog…but his personal presentation made it so much more powerful. Compass Point has always done a pretty good job at shark fishing…but we are at a critical time in our history where it will be too easy to be satisfied with grouper.
Dropped a bunch of blogs from my RSS reader…only left on folks that I have week-by-week friendship with…or churches that are similar to Compass Point.
Thank God for Chunks Corbett and his suggestion to read this book. It is beginning to change the way we do meetings at Compass Point…and is slowly beginning to increase our productivity.
Was at a church a few weeks back that everyone around here is always talking about. They’ve seen explosive growth…are raising funds to build a facility…and the pastor speaks at many conferences each year. The problem…they are a “grouper” church. I was completely shocked by the complete lack of concern for people far from God…not even a goal. My talk with the leadership just left me totally unimpressed…and disturbed!!!
I got the most hateful email I’ve ever seen from a discernment blog freak telling me that we lost the baby because of God’s judgment on our lives because I was helping to “spread the apostasy”. I have no clue how they got my private email address…but I never came so close to blowing a wad of cash on an airplane flight to go whip someone’s ass in all my life!!!
“One Prayer” is going to be a crap shoot for us…anxious to see how the video thing goes over with our people…anxious just see if we can get the videos to work.
The past six months have been the most spiritually growing time in my entire life.
Last…and most importantly…the past month has shown me just how much I love God and Denise…they are the two greatest things that have ever happened to me!
Thank you to all of those men and women of America’s armed forces…both past and present…that gave of themselves selflessly…so that we may have freedom.
This past Thursday Denise and I went to the doctor for her first OB visit and sonogram. While going through the exam it was discovered that the baby was two weeks under-developed and had no heartbeat…in essence the doctor feels we have lost the baby. As you can imagine this has been devastating news for us and it has been an emotional few days. We still have to go back to the doctor on Monday for another exam so that they can verify that the baby will definitely miscarry. They will also decide what steps are needed in order to protect Denise’s health over the next several weeks.
We have been told that the next few weeks will be rough for Denise physically…not to mention emotionally. As a result I am taking an open-ended vacation from Compass Point and have no clue when I will return to the pulpit. I also will not be answering email, posting to this blog, Twittering or returning phone calls for a while. It depends on Denise’s health as to whether I will be attending this week’s Whiteboard Sessions…at this point I think it is safe to say that I will be a no-show.
We are trusting God through this process and know that He has a plan for all of this. We are faithful that God is at work and we are committed to following Him no matter what. Please continue to pray for Denise and I as we will also be praying for you.
My buddy Travis Johnson posted about his most embarrassing moment on his blog…and I commented about an unforgettable moment from my comedy days. However, tonight I was reminded of a truly more embarrassing moment…one that just occurred a few weeks ago. You can read about here at Courtney Bridges blog…she’s the wife of Kyle…our Executive Pastor. The story involves a blackout at our office…some strange noises…safety scissors…and a William Wallace sword. Try not to laugh too much…I felt like such an idiot when the moment was over!!
I’m at home today…not what I had planned. I have vertigo and last night it decided to kick in pretty bad…which doesn’t happen often…should be better tomorrow. Anyway…my day is filled with heavy meds and much bed rest…not easy when you have ADD. I thought today was going to suck…saw the video below…and then I cried like a baby. Some of the tears I shed were for the pain I had to endure from Perry’s heretical comment concerning Clemson (everyone knows God is a Gator fan)…but they were mainly for an incredible mom…and an incredible church. All joking aside…take five minutes and check it out…it will rock your world…and your tear ducts!!!
One of the highlights for me at this year’s Exponential Conference was when my buddy LV of Catalyst Road Trip fame taught me how to ride a Segway. I about killed myself…and others…but had a blast in the process. Check out the video below…
Most of the times pastors write about how pumped up they are about Sunday and how this week’s service was the best ever. While Compass Point has been having some really great services recently and every week there is a new attendance records…this week was not one of them. We dealt with a BUNCH of technical problems today (mainly sound…which is always a problem in a gymnasium) and attendance was pretty ugly. To top it off I wasn’t really “on” today…the sermon was pretty weak in my opinion. In essence it wasn’t one of our better Sundays at Compass Point.
Not too long ago a day like today would have Denise hiding the sharp objects around the house. These days I don’t sweat it too much when we have less than great days…because days like today are not all that common any more. Most Sundays are good…some great…a few fair…rarely are they bad…today was fair. It’s not that it doesn’t still bother me…it does…it just doesn’t drive me insane like it use to. I’ve come to realize some things going into my fourth year of this thing called church planting:
1. I know my church and my town. Compass Point and Lakeland is not like anywhere else in the world. I was reading some other pastor’s blog this week and they were excited because Mother’s Day is a big day for them…not Compass Point. Traditionally Mother’s Day has been a low attendance Sunday…mainly because people in Lakeland head out-of-town for Mother’s Day. Attendance will be back up next week…I can say that because I know the community, the church…and we keep pretty good records.
2. It’s a marathon not a sprint. Church planting is not a sprint…quick out of the gate and quick to the finish line. It’s a marathon where you have to pace yourself and take in every separate stage of the race. This week didn’t go so hot…last week did…next week is coming…and it will be better. When a bad service occurs…sleep on it…meet about it…rattle somebody’s cage when needed…compliment when needed…be realistic with your assessment…and try to do better next week.
3. It’s never as bad as you think it is. I learned back in my comedy days that my perception…is not what other people necessarily see. There have been some pretty bad days at Compass Point…and pretty bad sermons…and folks will still send emails saying how great the service was. I guess what I’m saying is that I’m my own worst critic…while I know where we dropped the ball…and want to make we don’t drop it again…the folks sitting in the seats don’t always pick up on it.
4. We don’t need to hit a home run each time at bat. There are a BUNCH of perfect churches with perfect “Ken and Barbie” pastors here in Lakeland. One of the things that actually draws people to Compass Point…is the imperfection. Other church pastors I know would freak out over the imperfections we let slide. We know our people…we know Lakeland…we know what disconnected people in this community are drawn to. It’s not perfection…high tech…or excellence. While it is never an excuse for mediocrity…some days our “dropped balls” reach more people for Christ…than the days when everything goes according to plan.
5. Safety only comes in never taking risks. Some of what we dropped the ball on today was experimental stuff. We experimented with our projector and speaker placement…it didn’t really go over well. We also used a lot of video today…something we don’t normally do…it went over pretty good. I tried to color outside the lines a little with my sermon…it felt unprepared and too off-the-cuff. However, we learned a TON today…and it is helping us take the next steps in our journey. Basically some of what happened today was because we took some risks. The day we stop dropping the ball on Sunday is the day we stop taking risks. The day we stop taking risks is the day…I quit and sell insurance.
In conclusion…if you had a bad day at church today…go home…take a nap…enjoy your family…and let it go. Fix what you can fix…ignore what you can’t…and take comfort in knowing next week you get another shot at it!!!
For several days I have been wrestling with the idea of blogging my concerns in reference to the “revival” taking place in Lakeland. I foolishly mentioned it a couple of days ago before I had completely thought things through. I learned my lesson last year when I wrote this post…that some things are meant for the world to see…and some things are only meant for Compass Point to see. Under normal circumstances I would never comment on what is going on at another church…much less providing commentary as to the validity of it. However, the fact that these “healing” services are taking place in our own backyard…and that quite a few of our folks at Compass Point are being “pressured” by friends and family to attend…we (the Elders and I) feel a need to address this issue…with our people. I have watched many hours of the “revival” online through the streaming webcast…and have now attended a service in person. I finally feel that I’m in a place to Scripturally discern what is…and isn’t…real about what is taking place…and to share that with the flock I shepherd.
I would encourage those outside of Lakeland to watch what they see on the webcast…and then search the Bible for Scriptural backing for what is taking place. I would also encourage you not to make the trip down here for “healing” before you’ve consulted your own pastor about it. I am not your pastor…it is not my place to tell you what to believe…or attempt to shepherd you through a blog.
Sorry to those that were waiting for my report. Please don’t email me privately…I won’t be answering.
Okay, that title might be stretching it a bit…but Compass Point is taking it’s first steps into a “video venue” format by default. We are excited to be participating in the “One Prayer” campaign coming up in June. As a result we’ll be showing two to three Sundays of videos of other preachers…which…as we can tell…is kind of a first around here. I’m excited…first of all…to have a week or two off from preaching. I’m also pretty pumped that Compass Point will get to experience some pastors that greatly influence my life…Noble, Furtick and Lamb (that sounds like some kind of dysfunctional law firm). Finally, I’m anxious to see how the video format does at Compass Point…and Polk County. It’s an experiment…but could open up a BUNCH of opportunities and possibilities if it goes over well.
For those that have been asking….no…I decided to pass on shooting a video of the sermon I’m preaching for the “One Prayer” campaign. I’m doing “Make Us Manly” and preaching on June 15th…Father’s Day. However, with everything else we have going on right now…we just didn’t have the time or resources to pull off a quality video by the May 12th due date. Thanks for asking…maybe some other time down the road.
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Posted by Chris Elrod
