People always tell me how honest the posts on my blog are…how authentic and open I am. I suppose that is true, but the one area I have never been real open about is my personal life…especially when it comes to family. I have never posted about Denise and my struggles concerning children…but we were told it would never happen. She is 43 years old and I am 42…the doctors had basically said it wasn’t going to be a possibility at this stage of life…the window of opportunity had passed. We had looked into special medical techniques and possible adoption…but just kept sensing that if God wanted us to have a child He would provide…if He didn’t…then we would have to accept that. Though we never quit trying and never quit praying about it…we had begun to come to the conclusion that God meant for us to not have children…and began to come to grips with that. We were not bitter or angry…we were not resentful or upset…however…the realization made us a little sad…but we accepted.
Last week Denise sensed something different and began taking the home pregnancy tests….both came back positive. This week she went to the doctor for official verification. She finally told me last night right after our Journey Group. Everyone in the neighborhood where we meet knew about it…a fat white guy running down the street shouting, laughing and crying kind of draws attention. 🙂
The reality is that we are older. There are health risks to Denise and the baby. There is also the realization that I’ll be in my fifties when my child becomes a teenager…and near retirement age when they are in college. I don’t know why God waited so long…but I am just humbled, amazed, blessed…overwhelmed that He has provided us with a child. We are not questioning the timing…or what lays ahead. God already knows the outcome…this baby is a miracle and a gift from Him. Denise and I will take it one day at a time…and be grateful for just having the opportunity to experience being parents.