14 Days Of Fatherhood

Chris Elrod

It’s 4:00 a.m. and it’s been a long night…a rough night…the final moments for Denise and I in the journey of this pregnancy. I’m in my easy chair…Denise is on the couch beside me…she’s finally able to sleep a little. It’s done…it over…but only this specific chapter in life. The next chapter is about to be written…and God already knows how the story line will go.

People keep telling Denise and I that they are sorry for “our loss”…they just don’t understand…this was one of the most glorious things that has ever happened to us…to me. I got to be a father for 14 days!

Some fathers have pictures of their kids playing in the wading pool…going off to their first day of kindergarten…playing sports…being in a dance recital…prom…graduation…wedding photos. The picture of my child is a grainy black and white ultrasound print-out. It may not be much…but it is all that I have…to cling to…to remember…and the photo is priceless. It shows that there is a God…that He is the Giver of all blessings…that He did not forget Denise and I…and that He thinks that we are worthy to be called parents. The doctors said it couldn’t happen…that we were too old to conceive…that we would never experience a pregnancy. The ultrasound print-out is not a photo of a fetus…but of a miracle…my child.

Perry Noble said that fatherhood would forever change me…make my ministry different…my preaching different…my love for people different. He can’t imagine how right he was! I thought fatherhood was something I would never experience…never feel what it was like. For me it only lasted 14 days…and wasn’t quite what other people would consider to be fatherhood. However, in that time frame I fell deeply in love my Heavenly Father…madly in love with my wife…and experienced a love for a child that I could not physically see, hold or touch. I didn’t realize that kind of love was even possible in such a short time.

Those 14 days helped me experience just a tiny portion of the love that God must have for us…His children. It also provided me with a small glimpse into the pain He must feel when He loses one of us. My 14 days of fatherhood gave me even more drive to reach people that are far from God…and better disciple the ones that already know Him.

I have not lost hope…I have not experienced depression…I have not lost faith in God…I have not given up..the Devil doesn’t win this round. If anything this whole journey has only served to draw me closer to the Father…and cause me to lean even more on Him in all things.

God may never bless us with another child…but He gave us one for 14 days. For some people that is nothing…for Denise and I…it was an eternity. For two people that were told we would never be parents…it was the most joyful experience in our lives. If 14 days is all I will ever experience of being a father…then that is perfectly fine by me…there are so many others that don’t get to experience it all. I would not trade in one moment of this journey for a different outcome. It has changed me…given me new hope…brought Denise and I closer together…and gave us a few days of something we never thought we would have. Mainly, it has given me a stronger faith and trust in God…and made me appreciate all the blessings He gives…both great and small. To God be the glory!!!

14 Days Of Fatherhood

49 thoughts on “14 Days Of Fatherhood”

  3. Man that was good. I appreciate your words! I am going to print this out and give it to my aunt who recently lost a child and is not doing well with it. God bless!!!

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  4. That was beautiful, Chris. Thanks so much for sharing your heart, and your faith in such a real, raw, magnificent way. We love you guys, and a will continue to lift you up to the One who knows the plans He has for you. AWESOME plans…for HOPE and a FUTURE. I just can’t wait to see what He’s gonna do next!!

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  5. Chris,

    That right there is real worship and praise! It was not empty but full of hope and thanksgiving. Thank you for allowing us to see a glimpse of heaven on earth.

    You are blessed indeed and beyond measure…. for you have shown what being a father really means.

    To God be the glory,
    Camey

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  10. I got nuthin you gave me….

    Those 14 days helped me experience just a tiny portion of the love that God must have for us…His children. It also provided me with a small glimpse into the pain He must feel when He loses one of us. My 14 days of fatherhood gave me even more drive to reach people that are far from God…and better disciple the ones that already know Him.

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  11. Wow…that was an amazing post. I love that your perspective if all about Jesus. That sweet baby definatly gave God all the glory with it’s little life. You are closer to God as a result of that 14 days you spent as it’s daddy! Awesome!

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  13. hey man i am 12 years old and we started coming to newspring two summers ago. i love how you preach and after a few times of listening i had accepted christ. i used to be a bad kid but you really turned me around. when i acualy got a look at what jesus was like i fell in love with him and i will praise him till i die.

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  14. Simply amazing. My wife and I lost our first pregnancy, and we didn’t handle it with the grace and strength that you and your wife did. Although we’ve never met, I’m praying for you both…but after reading your post, I don’t think you need my help.

    Thanks for sharing such an incredibly personal, but powerful experience.

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  15. rossmiddleton says:

    Powerful testimony. Amazing perspective. God bless you guys, I pray that God would give you the desires of your heart.

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  20. … the perspective of a righteous man is so beautiful, powerful and authentic …

    please accept my sincere thanks & prayers,
    chilly chilton

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  23. amyhobbs says:

    My husband and I pastor a church also and we have seen the loss of children in several families over the years. We personally have been blessed with 3 children and did not suffer that kind of loss, but we have seen how the loss has affected others, not always in a positive way. Clinging to the Lord and to each other is the way to healing. I will be praying for restoration and that the Lord would use you both in a mighty way in the years ahead, as you use what you have walked through to minister to others. Press on with Him!

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  25. Thank you so much for sharing your experience. My husband and I were told that we could not have children. We experienced 5 miscarriages, all precious babies that are in MY FATHER’s hands, and then one day, that one of those stuck, and I have a precious baby Grace. God is gracious, loving, merciful, and full of wonderful surprises. I wouldn’t trade the life experiences for anything because through them, like your experience, I was able to understand the way that my Father loves me, and how desperately He wants to hold me in His arms. I now understand just how precious I am to the KING of KINGS!!!

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  26. Thank you Chris.I pray that your willingness to share something so deep will encourage those who have walked the same mile and came up wanting.

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  27. WOW. That’s really all I can say about your post. It gave me chills and brought tears to my eyes. My husband and I have not had the same experience as you and your wife, but we know FULL WELL the bittersweet feeling of loving someone you have only seen in a picture and are not able to hold.

    God has allowed us to experience parenthood through the miracle of adoption. Our son was born in Guatemala. We were introduced to him when he was 15 days old. I fell in love with him the moment I saw his face on the computer. For ten months I WAS his mother. No matter what anyone said. I didn’t need him physically in my arms to know that.

    Thank you for your post. I pray that God continues to allow you to feel His peace and strength! God bless you and Denise!

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  28. From a man whose mother had two other babies (one for 8 days, the other for two months), “won’t heaven be even more heavenly when we get there??????????”

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  29. Tracey says:

    Thank you for sharing so openly. The emotions your words expressed touched me to my core and brought tears to my eyes. They also bring hope. I have never been sure if I wanted to have children, but lately I have been thinking about it more frequently. My biggest concern has been my age. I will be 45 next month. Your experience gives me hope. It lets me know that all things are possible…God Bless!

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  30. Danny says:

    Thank you for sharing your heart with us. This has truly spoken to me. My wife and i had been married for 12 years and wasn’t able to conceive a child. We prayed constantly that God would bless us with a child. We went to the top specialist the whole works. There would be nights when tears would well up in my wifes eyes when she would get the calls from friends and family telling all about their new baby that was on the way. It seemed like all of the people we where close to was having kids at the time. Those nights I would lay in bed all night holding my wife as she sobbed herself to sleep. God never blessed me and my wife with a biological child, but he did show us what he would have for us. It came in the form of a beautiful baby boy from South Korea. God knew we couldn’t afford adoption, but He took care of that as well in the form of a friend that paid for it in full. I have now been a father for 3 and a half years, and there is not a day that goes by that i don’t thank God for what he has done in our lives! God Bless our prayers are with you.

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  31. You have inspired me on many levels. God Bless you Denise. God granted us our little miracle after 12 years. I know your heartache and appreciate your openness.

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  32. Wow. This is so beautiful. My wife and I are in our mid- to late-thirties and trying to start a family. This is so encouraging and uplifting. Your perspective just astounds me.

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  37. I am speechless. I’ve been a father for 16 years and I don’t think I have treasured it in the same way you have in 14 days. Thank you for sharing this today. God bless you and Denise.

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  38. jason says:

    Six years ago my wife and I lost our first baby boy just 2 weeks before he was due to be born. After having to go through the delivery knowing we would only see his face for just a few fleeting days before we buried him, your words are so much of what we were feeling. So thanks, Chris, for summing up your heart (and mine). It’s rare that I find someone who understands that pain and experienced God’s grace through it all the way you obviously have.

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  41. Nate says:

    Thanks for your witness. It has humbled me as I lament over a prodigal 20 year old son. I am stuck in the present, and you have demonstrated how much there is to be thankful for, that we serve a wonderful God who cares for us all. Thank You.

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  42. Lois Janke says:

    For some… 14 days is a lifetime, it came to serve, by doing it’s part…far better than those that live an unworthy life for 84 or more years. Your baby will greet you at the gate cause it has done what it came to do…Minister the true “Love or Christ” in rare form…Mistakes are made, but “NOT BY OUR GOD”!! Bless you and your wife!! Lois from Allison Park Church, Pa.

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  43. This was absolutely touching… and convicting, as I have struggled with the “worldly” questions of why my husband and I don’t stop having children… and “how we could leave that up to God”. God has blessed us in a world that doesn’t view children as blessings, and I thank you tonight for reminding us of the gift children are. I am praying for you and your wife, and will continue to do so.

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  44. Reading this made me run and go hug my son. We have bad days (he is autistic), but man, to not have him would be devastating.

    I am touched by your trust in the Lord and his will for you and your family. Being blessed with a child for any amount of time is just that….a blessing. I pray God continues to offer you strength throughout this time and future blessings as well.

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  45. Pastor Chris,

    I myself am a Pastor that has faced some crazy trials in my life with my children. Last year my wife and I had 2 miss carriages and just recently our newborn daughter was given a year to live with some rare disease…..I just want to encourage you not that it sounds like you need it, but last week we got my daughters genetic testing back and she has been healed of her genetic sickness….it was hard for me to imagine this day of her being healed because the picture seemed so dismal, but God answered our prayer for her healing….I know you know this, but God sometimes just likes to show off and in my prayers I will be praying for you and your wife and that God shows off by blessing you with another child.

    Josh

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  46. Andrew Northern says:

    Pastor Chris,

    I am a new dad myself. My baby boy was born 11 weeks early on May 29 due to complications from my wife coming down with HELLP syndrome preeclampsia. Currently I’m sitting in the NICU as Denise (my wife) holds our son, Parker James. It’s amazing how God brings people together in a time like this. Thank you for your reminders and inspiration.

    Andrew

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  47. My wife and I lost our son May 24th, 08. He was within 3 weeks of his due date. In a normal uncomplicated pregnancy.

    We have seen our church of 14 months (the third one in 4 years of ministry) to wrap their arms around us and cry, pray, hug, and just be there for us. They showed us love when we felt unloved and shocked.

    God is good and I echo many of your statements above. Thanks for being real and open.

    I also thank my God for being bigger than all this!

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