Discovered or developed…those are the two words that have been haunting me for several months. They were mentioned in the form of a question…as in…do I want to be discovered by man or developed by God? That question slapped me across the face…shook me to my core…and left me with a uneasy feeling. For most of my natural born life I’ve been working hard to be discovered. Whether I was the new kid in school, the struggling Christian comedian, the church planter or the blogger…it’s mainly been about getting people to notice me. I’m an approval whore.
Until last May blogging was fun for me. But I think a life experience like losing a baby shows you that there are more important things than blogging…more important things than growing a church. Since June I have watched God begin to work on me…in me…showing me that other people’s calling are not my calling. In some sense He’s been shrinking my vision…showing me the importance of reaching just one…instead of always trying to be reaching the thousands. He’ been showing me that being a good husband is way more important that being a good leader…or a good blogger. He’s been showing me hat churches come and go…but our personal walk with Him must be our constant main priority.
Maybe I’m having a mid-life crisis. Maybe my ADD has just diminished the fun I had with blogging. Maybe I just don’t buy into the hype of the books, conferences or the podcasts anymore. Whatever it is…I spend much of each day wrestling with the two words…discovered or developed. At 42 years old I have come to realize that I’ve been discovered…now I’m just ready to get off the merry-go-round and go be developed. At the moment my only desire…my only vision…is to just be a local pastor doing the best I can to love my Savior, my wife, my community and my church.
Over the last month I have put together a series of final thoughts about church planting and leadership that I will post next week. Today is the final “live” blog post in which I wrote it and published it on the same day…after next Friday there will be no more. Blogging has been a great four-year experience that has allowed me to meet some really amazing people. However, the time has come to say goodbye…and to go be developed.